Should I invite my ex-husband or my boyfriend to my familys 4th of july bash?

My husband and I are separated, but share custody of our 5 yr old daughter. Every year we go with my family for a beach bash on 4th of July. We have stayed friends and he adores his little girl. I know she wants him there, and I do too. He and my boyfriend hate eachother. For my daughter's sake , should I continue tradition and invite him along? Or do I owe it to my boyfriend to start new traditions?
Should I invite my ex-husband or my boyfriend to my familys 4th of july bash?
If you're separated, then he's isn't technically your ex-husband yet. You're still married. Since you're even considering inviting him to the family function, then it sounds like your relationship isn't entirely over. Maybe I'm reading more into it than what is really there. Is it entirely for your daughter's sake or are you thinking about reconciling?


Anyway, to answer your question...invite your husband.
Reply:You owe it to youself and your family to start new traditions and invite your boyfriend. you ex will understand and so will your daughter. Good luck
Reply:You owe it to your daughter to make a family day a family day. Invite your ex and the boyfriend and make them both understand that although your marriage is over...you have a child together and need to provide for her feelings as well as yours. If your boyfriend and ex cannot understand that ...then it's time to get a new boyfriend. One that puts you and your daughters feelings in the mix and not just his own.
Reply:If your boyfriend is too immature to understand that your daughter needs her Dad, then he's not worth inviting to anywhere around family until he accepts the fact that your ex-husband is going to be around forever (your linked to him for life b/c of your daughter). I would say to invite just your ex-husband so your daughter can spend time with him. Deal with your boyfriend after being with your family. Family comes first.
Reply:you aren't even divorced yet,but you are already bringing a new man into the picture with your daughter? I seriously question your judgement.





Leave your boyfriend home, and have dad come to the party...your daughter is who is important here, not your boyfriend.
Reply:You are a mom. Your responsibility is first to your daughter.





Your daughter should never feel that she is chosing between her dad or you and your new boyfriend. She should always feel that both you and her dad love her and will always love her.





Invite her father. Explain to your boyfriend that he needs to respect the relationship that your daughter has with her father.





Just because you and her father decided to not stay together does not mean your daughter should pay the price and have to choose between you two.
Reply:I think you should start new traditions with your boyfriend. He deserves to have memories of his own with you and your daughter and your family. Think of how uncomforatable it wil be for everyone if your ex was there. You wouldnt want to be around an ex wife or ex girlfriend.
Reply:Well, he would be your EX so I would say no, don't include him. The things that used to be are no more and that changes past tradition. You are starting a new life, I would hope, and that includes you talking to your daughter about such things. Otherwise, that is where the confusion comes in for both you and your child. If the ties are cut then cut them clean!
Reply:How would you feel if your boyfriend invited his ex and not you?


You are divorcing him for a reason. You should invite your boyfriend because if you do not this is showing him that you do not respect him enough to go to your family bash.
Reply:He's your boyfriend, not your "new husband". You don't "owe" him anything. Invite your ex.


Your bf needs to understand that this is a tradition that your child looks forward to. He also needs to understand that the girls' father is always going to be a part of her life, and your bf is going to have to give up certain things because of that. You can always start other "traditions" with your bf, but for this one, stick with what your daughter wants and expects.
Reply:Depends how long you and your bf have been together. If it's been awhile, you should start with new traditions.





You're no longer married to your ex and for very good reasons, no doubt. If you invite him, I doubt your bf will be very understanding...given the fact that they hate each other.
Reply:I don't know how long you've been with your boyfriend so I don't know how much he means to you. But I do think you owe it to your daughters to still keep the tradition between them and their father. Hope everything works out.
Reply:Daughter is way more important than boyfriend. Invite the ex to this for her. Create a new, completely different tradition with the boyfriend doing something else.
Reply:I think you owe it to yourself and your daughter to start a new tradition. You don't have to live to please your ex anymore. You have a new boyfriend, act like it. Move on. Or go back to the ex and forget about it.
Reply:You're between a "rock and a hard place" on this one. Which ever one you choose is going to make the other one furious. If you take the ex, you'll lose the boyfriend for sure. If you take the boyfriend, your ex is going to be hard to deal with. Good Luck! I would take the ex.....to be with his little girl!
Reply:If you've been with this guys for a long time and your daughter likes him, then take the boyfriend. But if he's still somewhat new, take the ex. Only because your daughter will be comfortable with someone she knows and likes. 5 year olds aren't too thrilled about strangers
Reply:Definitely invite your new boyfriend. New traditions have to start somewhere. This would be a good way for your daughter to also get more accustomed to him being part of family gatherings as well.
Reply:You owe it to your boyfriend to start a new tradition, if your serious about him. Otherwise your not going to find anyone on a permanent bases to stay in a committed relationship with you if your always going to go with your ex to your family reunion. For your Daughter's sake you shouldn't give her false hope of getting back with your ex unless this is your intention,otherwise it's not fair to your little girl to be led on and confused this way.
Reply:If you and your family are ok with your ex being there, do it for your daughter.





Then talk with your bf and tell him what you have decided. Explain to him that your daughter wants her father there because he always has been in the past and you and your family do not have a problem with it. Ask him if he is ok with it and see how he reacts. That alone may tell you alot about your bf and whether he is a good choice in your life.





If he decides to go with you, tell him you expect him to be a gentleman and not start any trouble and if he can't say something good, don't say anything at all. Sounds like he may have some growing up to do and I sure hope he doesn't ruin the family outing.





And also talk with your ex when he is invited and ask him to pls stay away from your bf so there won't be any trouble. Let him know you want your ex there for your daughter but you don't want the family outing spoiled by any immature actions and explain you have told your bf the same thing.





Good luck ~ hope it all works out ok for the sake of your daughter
Reply:I know your daughter wants him there. The easy answer is that they should BOTH be able to go and get along for the sake of the family.





If that's not possible, I would question whether your boyfreind is actually good for you ?!?!? Your ex should be able to get along, or not go.





Perhaps its best for you and your daughter to go and not invite either. That way they both know that the problems between the two of them needs to be set aside for the good of the family.





If this b/f of yours is serious and might lead to husband #2, these two grown men (I assume they're grown) need to get past this issue - b/c they're both going to be in your and your daughter's life for a long while to come.





You don't have to like someone else to get along for one day.





Then again - thats somewhat telling about your choice in men.
Reply:If your family has hostile feelings toward your ex-husband, don't invite him, because it will only create trouble that your daughter shouldn't be around.


If your boyfriend is active in your daughter's life and your family likes him, invite the boyfriend instead of your ex-husband.
Reply:Why should they hate each other? It sounds like there are unresolved issues otherwise these two men who both love your daughter could be in the same room. It might be time for the grown ups to think about the needs of the child.
Reply:if your serious about this bf you have to make new traditions. Your daughter is 5 it's ok. Her daddy and her can start new traditions together.
Reply:You are separated not divorced, right?


So the new boy-friend is not family (yet).


There is no good reason to invite him.


Your daughter will always have her Dad.


So, if he's comfortable, invite him for her.
Reply:continue the tradition.....if ur new bf lovez u n ur daughter he'll understand that ur ex should be with his little girl
Reply:I would tell the boyfriend that you ex is your child's father and therefore, will ALWAYS be in your life and if he can't handle that, then you need to say good bye to HIM. Your bf should care more what's best for your little girl than putting his own immature feelings ahead of her. That shows he might not be good stepfather material anyway.
Reply:Your ex is an ex for a reason. And I doubt your boyfriend will understand, so if I were you I would start new tradtions with the new guy. Unless he doesnt mean anything to you, then by all means invite the ex
Reply:Nina, maybe you and your daughter should just go alone this year. I am not sure how long you have been with your boyfriend, but I would take some time alone this year. If you are serious about your boyfriend, then you probably need to invite him to the family functions going forward.