What is the proper etiquette for not inviting small children to your wedding?

Due to budget constraints cant invite all of the young children. We would like to have children 13 years or older only. What is the proper way of wording this on the invitations and when you talk to family?
What is the proper etiquette for not inviting small children to your wedding?
You can pass this information around verbally through your parents, brothers, sisters, and wedding party members BEFORE the wedding invitations are mailed out so some of your guests will know in advance.





You do NOT put anything on the wedding invitation, a wedding invitation is not a bulletin board.





Who is invited to your wedding in that household is stated on the inside envelope.





Outside envelope . . . . Mr and Mrs John Smith (do not put AND FAMILY)





Inside envelope . . Mr and Mrs John Smith


Mr Matthew Smith (14 year old son)


Miss Susan Smith (15 year old daughter)





Everyone over the age of 16 years old SHOULD RECEIVE THEIR OWN SEPARATE INVITATION.





And if you wish to take this one step further, create a wedding website or wedding website page or a newsletter (mail out with the invitation) stating that "children under the age of thirteen years old" will not be invited to the wedding or reception. Do NOT put why, it's no one's business. As the Bride and Groom, you have the right to determine who will be invited to your wedding.





Just a word of caution . . some people will call and ask if it's OK to bring their "well behaved children" anyway. Just say, NO. You cannot say YES to some of your guests and NO to other guests because that will create even a bigger problem. Be consistent, just say NO to everyone who calls.





Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant
Reply:Proper etiquette says you put the names of those invited on the envelope. Unfortunately, you will still run into people who rsvp and include an uninvited child or just show up with an uninvited child. You may need to call those who rsvp to let them know that you won't be able to accommodate the child or you can just be prepared in case children show up by having games and activities or a babysitter to keep an eye on the kids.
Reply:Send initiations only specifically addressed to those invited. If there is a child over the age of 13 that you would like to invite, add their name to the invitation:





Mr. and Mrs. John Doe


Miss Jane Doe


123 Elm Street


New York, New York 12345





On the inner envelope, it would be addressed to:





John, Jill, and Jane





If the persons it's addressed to have children that are not listed on the invite, they'll get the picture. And if they do call to ask, you can nicely state that due to budget constraints, you are inviting guests that are old enough to enjoy the day with the adult guests. Best Wishes.
Reply:Not to sound like an *** hole but to be honest, those families with children under 13 will not be attending.





For example my gf's family all live close and most of them have children under 13. 2 things will happen: 1) change the venue, 2) those family with small children will not show up, because there will be none to babysit the children.
Reply:I just got married and stated on my invites, that no children, under the age of 14 was able to attend, due to the fact that there was alcohol being served, and due to the small nature of younger children, I was afraid of injury . But beware...most people didn't listen...
Reply:Write the names of those invited on the reply cards, but DO NOT write anything such as "no children" or "adults only".





If somebody asks, tactfully explain that for whatever reasons (and you are not obligated to explain) that you decided to constrain your guest list in this way, and that its nothing personal.
Reply:make the invitation for the people you wish to be there.. Mr. and Mrs. XXX.. and make sure they know if your parent friends don't usually leave the kids home.. we are going for a quiet, adult service and reception. (do that separately, using all the discretion you can muster!)
Reply:You could include a note that offsite babysitting will be provided for children under 13. Contact a daycare center - their workers often look for extra money at night. Buy them pizza, rent a movie, and get one sitter for every 5 kids.
Reply:I put adult reception on my invites. Also, put the names of all people invited on the inside invite. This is the way you are supposed to address the invites.
Reply:Write it on all the invitations; children OVER 13 ONLY. If anyone objects tell them sorry, that is how it is, and no one is obligated to attend if they insist on bringing little kids.
Reply:Include it on an insert. Stating something to the effect of only wanting 13 and over to attend. Nothing wrong with stating what you want for the wedding.
Reply:Invite the parents, and on the outside state "and family". On the inside envelope write their names after the parents.
Reply:just write the individual of who is invited on the envelope it is rude to bring anyone especially a child who is not invited
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