Would I be invited to the rehearsal dinner?

My boyfriend is a groomsman in his friend's wedding. The wedding is in the bride's hometown, about four hours from us. I've never been to this city. My boyfriend %26amp; I are driving out to the wedding on Friday morning and the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner will be that evening.





Should I expect to be invited to the dinner? Or would it be better for me to start planning for something to do on my own (or with the other groomsmen's wives/girlfriends) that evening?
Would I be invited to the rehearsal dinner?
"Girlfriend of a groomsman" is an awkward role in a wedding. There are so many things going on that involve the wedding party that you are almost guaranteed to feel like a fifth wheel much of the time: waiting (alone) in the church for the ceremony to start, waiting (alone) for the photographs to be done, sitting with strangers at the reception, and so on. A gracious hostess will do all that she can to minimize your discomfort, but it is still an awkward situation.





If the rehearsal dinner is formal, you will receive a written invitation to it in your own name if you are invited, and it would be rude to ask to bring a guest. If the arrangements are informal and the invitations verbal, it's okay for your boyfriend to ask "is Jane invited too?" (not "can I bring Jane", which is a little different.) But, if you already have plans, then he doesn't need to ask and can avoid any possible awkwardness. If you aren't engaged (or already living together in a de-facto conmmon-law marriage) then you should not *expect* to be invited.





So, I would make plans; and I would make them particularly pleasant plans in order to avoid any possible feelings of self-pity or resentment. Also (please make your boyfriend read this paragraph) on the day of the wedding you should feel special -- wear a nice dress, jewellery and a corsage -- to help you avoid those "fifth wheel" feelings. Properly-brought-up, caring young men ---%26gt;bring their date flowers%26lt;--- routinely, but ESPECIALLY for an occasion like this, where other ladies will be wearing or carrying flowers and where he will be prevented by circumstances from paying you some of the attention that he normally would pay you.
Reply:no, invitations are not sent for the rehearsal. I would think since you are coming from out of town with him that you are invited, but he better clarify that with the groom. same thing happened to me a few months ago, my bf was in a wedding but I didn't know until the night before that I was invited to the rehearsal. I didn't end up going because I was sick, and it was in town so we didn't have to travel, but it would have been nice to know beforehand. you have to know how to dress and whatnot so have your bf ask the groom.
Reply:It depends on the groom's parents since they are the hosts of the party. We invited the SO's of my wedding party as well as all out of town guests.





That said, I've been an out of town guest and not been invited to the rehearsal dinner. I've also had my SO at the time not invited to the rehearsal dinner.





So it's a great big "it depends." Have your bf ask the groom.
Reply:You will probably be invited to the rehearsal dinner, unless the bride and groom are super-cheap and totally rude.





Some couples send formal invitations for the rehearsal dinner, others just use word-of-mouth. It would be appropriate for your boyfriend to ask the groom, "Hey, what are you all doing about guests at your rehearsal dinner? If Jane can't come, I'd like to give her a heads-up so she can make some other plans that evening."
Reply:I would not assume anything. If I were the bride, I would invite you but funds may be limited. I would plan on having a nice relaxing evening on your own. Soak in the tub, watch a movie, etc. I would leave the other ladies out of your planning since you dont know if they will be attending the rehearsal or not. If all else, ask your bf to see if you will be attending the dinner
Reply:usually the bride and groom invite wedding party spouse's. If they don't then they're extremely rude and don't know wedding Etiquette. Anywhere your spouse needs to be for their wedding they should include you and you should be with your spouse every step of the way. if not then i would have a fun evening with the wives of the other groomsmen, and say screw them
Reply:if you're IN the wedding, it would be assumed you'd go, and details would go out word of mouth.





if someone is married or has been in a longtime relationship, i believe it would be assumed both would go. if you two have only been together a short time, i wouldn't assume.





but don't assume you can't go or wouldn't be welcome...your bf should ask if you can go.
Reply:It really depends. For my wedding the s/o's aren't invited to the rehearsal. I have limited space, its outside and they would be in the way. I also have a large bridal party so I cannot Pay for the 10 s/o's.
Reply:Since you are coming from out of town, you should be invited. If the wedding were in town or in the same area you live in then you shouldn't expect an invite.
Reply:Typically the significant others are invited to the rehearsall dinner, but I wouldn't consider it a given. I would just have your boyfriend ask what their plan is.
Reply:It should be fine for you to go, every rehersal dinner that i've gone to had their significan others there. But if you're unsure then have your boyfriend ask his buddy.
Reply:Usually, the s/o's are invited to the rehersal dinner. But, if there is any doubt, just ask.
Reply:usually, yes. but he'll have to ask them.
Reply:Some brides %26amp; grooms try to keep costs down and invite only their actual wedding party to the rehearsal dinner. If the bride %26amp; groom know you are traveling with their groomsman, the proper thing to do is to include you in the invite.





If the wedding is informal, invitations could be by word-of-mouth. But the proper thing to do is to mail an invitation to the rehearsal dinner.





Does that mean all brides %26amp; grooms do things properly? No.





If its less than a month to the wedding and he doesn't have a formal invite, I suggest your boyfriend inquire if you are invited.