Is It Rude If You Invite People To Your Children's Birthday Party....?

And you put on the invitations, *No presents/gifts please*??





We have 3 Boys having Birthdays over the next two months, and I will be honest, they do not need anything. They have more than enough.


It's just been Christmas, and they have barely even touched 90% of the toys they received then, let alone all the clothing they received.


We are having parties for them (close friends, and family) as they are big milestones for them.


I like the gestures, but they really don't need anything.
Is It Rude If You Invite People To Your Children's Birthday Party....?
Nope, not at all.


The other option is to say "in lieu of gifts for our abundantly blessed kids, donations are being forwarded to xxxx".


My eldest did this one year, and ended up giving a few hundred dollars to a camp for kids with cancer, and new toys to our local Ronald McDonald House.


She has plenty of things, and I think she had more fun doing this- it also made a huge impression on her that 20 moinutes of opening small gifts can't do!


Her birthday is coming up again in about 4 weeks and she is having a great party (spa day for her and a few friends at the local kids' spa/ salon) and getting the only gift she really wants, so just this morning (because she is currently *obsessed* with planning her 11th birthday party) she was just mentioning doing the same again this year. I think it really boosted her whole self-image when she did it!


You should know what the kids in the onc. ward are needing for those long stays, why not take up a little collection instead?
Reply:No, it's not rude, but be prepared to answer a lot of "why"s! I would suggest that you might put on "In lieu of gifts please donate to (fill in a local charity or a favorite one)" and make it easy for them to do that instead by finding a charity with a website that can take donations on line. You can put the info on the invite. I think you'll be a lot less likely to get "surprise" gifts if you do something like this and it can also be used as a tool to teach your boys about charity if they're old enough.
Reply:Charli, it wouldn't be rude and if I were you (all things considered) I'd put on the invitation that as your boys have plenty of toys and clothes this year you would like people to make a donation to Leukaemia Research (or whatever equivalent you have there)





You could source a charity such as this and put the information on how to donate in the invitation. That way people can do it direct and not have to feel pressured to give a certain amount (or anything at all) by doing it via you.
Reply:I know exactly where your coming from, BUT it's their BIRTHDAY! Everyone is supposed to get something for their birthday!





You know what I would do, I would kindly explain to your family (%26amp; friends if they would understand) that your children have enough toys %26amp; clothes and maybe they would like to contribute to their college/savings funds in lieu of a gift. You know if you tell them "no gifts", some people are going to buy them gifts anyways because that's what people do for a birthday party. So maybe mentioning a college/savings fund contribution will help with not receiving any actual presents.
Reply:I don't think it's rude at all, but many people (myself included) feel somewhat obligated, or just not right about not bringing a gift to a party of any kind. I would suggest putting something like, "Gifts are not necessary, but if you feel you must purchase something, please donate to your favorite charity". Or something like that.
Reply:Absolutely not! What you could do instead is if you have a college fund for the kids maybe put "in lieu of gifts please donate to their college fund."





But no, it's not rude. Just be prepared that some people may not honor that and may do something for them anway since it's their birthday. If they do I wouldn't make an issue of it.





To me though it's not rude. It's just as acceptable for little one's under a certain age to put "invitation for invited child and a parent" at the bottom.
Reply:have each kid pick a charty like toys for tots or somthing For my step sons birthday we went through the same thing so we put on the card jarret wants to collect money for cancer child insted of presents and set a jar up the next day he got to take the money he recived about $50 and got to go to the store and pick out a toy and we took it the cancer hospital he got to give it a little boy. He really liked it also gave them some of his christmas presents he said he wanted to.
Reply:No of course not...


Perhaps if people insist, you can say that if they want to, some cash would be OK because they are either saving for something, or the boys will donate it to an animal charity or kid's hospital etc.


My daughter once wanted an expensive toy that was out of my range, and we just let everyone know and they all put in. Friends don't mind that sort of thing, and your enemies will complain about you anyway.
Reply:I don't think it's rude at all - in fact, I've done it the last two or three parties we've had for our son. He doesn't notice the difference and just enjoys being with his friends. In fact, I had one mom say to me how she wishes she had done the same with her kids' friend parties.





I like it because it puts much more emphasis on getting together and having fun, like a big cool playdate/field trip (if you're going out somewhere).
Reply:I don't think it's rude. Maybe so people don't feel uncomfortable not contributing something you could ask them to bring a small dish to share instead or you could have them donate money to a local charity instead of gifts. Or ask them to bring canned goods instead so you can drop them off at a local shelter. Have fun with your parties!
Reply:Honestly this day in age, with the economy being what it is, i wouldn't say it's rude at all, saves the other parents from wondering what to get, how much to spend and all those other questions that we mom's tend to ask! I'd say if you really want to bring something bring paper plates, plastic cups, juice, pop and so on...
Reply:No, I don't think it's rude at all. Actually, I plan to do the same for my daughter's 4th birthday in April. She doesn't need anything. But, keep in mind that even though you put that on there, some of them just might bring something anyway. I plan to tell everyone that IF they WANT to bring something, let it be summer clothes. She doesn't need anymore toys.
Reply:No, it isn't rude but I would still bring a puzzle or a book, even if you asked me not to. lol


I couldn't go empty handed. I don't think anyone would find it rude, but a few will show up with something anyhow. Just ask them to put gifts in another room, if they do, so that those that did follow your wishes don't feel bad for actually listening. :)
Reply:Nooo, that's not fair. Just because their birthdays are somewhat near Christmas and they have a bunch of toys doesn't mean you should tell people NOT to buy them a gift. That's kind of cruel. If you want you can at least donate the toys they don't want to children would didn't get a thing for Christmas.
Reply:Not rude at all.





People might *want to* give them a gift, though. So, why not have the boys pick a favorite charity %26amp; add "No gifts, please - your presence at our celebration is gift enough! If you'd like to bring something, though, we are %26lt;collecting teddy bears for children's hospital%26gt;, %26lt;collecting snacks for the troops%26gt;, %26lt;collecting donations for the food pantry%26gt;"
Reply:I went through a similar experience %26amp; felt weird about showing up at a party empty handed so what I did was since the party was a "Camp Out theme. I didn't just take a gift for the Birthday Boy I took all the kids (10) lil mini Flashlights and bags of marsh-mellows. I know it was cheesy, but I didn't feel empty handed. The mother was appreciative and we had fun.
Reply:Not at all! It wouldn't offend me in any way.


What IS rude is writing on the invites....."Little Tommy would like (name of toy)".


I can't stand getting invites that tell me what to buy or where the person is "registered".......phooey! if you can't let me pick out my own gift, I don't want to give you one.





(Mean me)
Reply:hmm won't your children be disappointed though? I mean, presents are part of the birthday.


Maybe you could tell them to make them small, like colouring material or music, little toy cars, etc... Or all guests write a poem or a little story or paint a picture, something hand-made. You could make a competition out of it, e.g. for the best poem.. and give a theme if you like.
Reply:Not at all If anyone questions the statement tell them movie tickets or something of the like would be appreciated, but your home is over stuffed! If someone does bring gifts make sure to put them away until after the party so you don't hurt the feelings of those people who didn't bring gifts!
Reply:I don't think so at all. My sons first birthday we did that. Family got him things but not at the party.


Some people still gave him things at the party but they were gift cards in the birthday card.


You might put something like "Just bring yourselves" or something like that.
Reply:That's a tough one. The kids might think that no one loves them, if they don't get presents on their birthday's. If they are young, I wouldn't do it. But if they are older, and can understand, you should talk to them about it first.
Reply:If I got an invitation that said that I would be happy. I don't think it's rude. I think it's nice to have a gathering where people celebrate eachother's company instead of presents.
Reply:no its not rude. most people aren't going to listen to that request though. Maybe have a talk with your boys and donate all the birthday gifts to charity, to some little boys who didnt get christmas presents.
Reply:No, not at all. People will call to ask why, and tell them just what you told us. Some people will insist, and if they do, suggest a book or a gift certificate to the kid-friendly restaurant down the street.
Reply:It isn't rude at all. I frequently will place a plea to donate an item to charity instead of bringing a gift. Or to bring a food item instead which will be donated to a local food shelf.
Reply:I don't find it offensive at all. Im sure some people will bring gifts anyway but a lot of people will be thankful with how tight money seems to be right now. I think its a good idea. A get-together to celebrate sounds fun to me :)
Reply:Hey Charli, You can write it on the invites it is not rude but you may find some will bring presents anyway. I could never come to a party without a gift.
Reply:It's not rude at all Charli but people like shopping for babies and kids so don't be surprised if they show up w/ gifts.
Reply:Not rude at all - very practical infact - and they would probably like that they wont have to worry about what they would have to buy them
Reply:Well, I would be one of those people to still bring something ;)


I don't show up to parties late, or without a present.





Just me..
Reply:Not really rude but if someone brings some gifts, wow about donating them to charity or goodwill
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